Predeparture Woes

I'm going on an extended sojourn into the Northwest. It begins by first going to the capitol of the New England Northeast. Tomorrow after work I'm going to haul ass to Boston. I think this will commence insanity that has not occurred in Boston yet. The congregation of too many Southerners getting too crunk too late in the summer will be too much for dem Beantown muther gaylords.

Then the next morning I speed towards the airport of departing airways. By 7am Sunday morning I should report to the dock and board the NOAA ship, Davidson. Then the Man takes over for 2 weeks. Look for wild trip report to follow.

I wrote this draft before leaving and didn't finish it cause I thought it was pretty damn pretentious, forecasting for my own trip. I still think so - but this gives me a place to rant. This trip to "Beantown" was a pretty big mistake. A series of mishaps occured when I tried to leave. Instead of going to Beantown we went to this dude's beach house. Fortunately, I avoided all kinds of weird obstacles there (cars stuck in the sand, shattered glass drunkards, etc), but I got pulled over by a cop in the middle of nowhere in Massachusetts. I was going like 10 over at 8am with no one around. He was driving on the opposite side of traffic and pulled this Duke's of Hazard move to chase me down. He apparently saw that my car was lacking a front license plate since Tennessee and the other reasonable states require none. Still he had to get me for speeding even though it was not a rental car. I was lucky though. According to the officer, if I was living in Mass instead of RI I would have been arrested and my car would have been towed for not registering it within 30 days, and further penalized for not wearing a seat belt (which was a fabrication on his part cause I wear a seat belt without thinking).

I reach the Cozy Cab office in Newport with about 10 minutes to spare - to get the 11am airport shuttle. Due to insane alignment of the cosmos, the shuttle had disappeared somewhere in Providence and would not return until 1pm. My flight was at 12:15, so I was already cutting it very close with the 11am shuttle. I exclaimed "Fuck" right in the precense of the good people at Cozy Cab. They saw my distress and panic and promptly withdrew $100 from my bank account to get a taxi to take me in private to the airport.

So I found myself $200 in debt before even reaching the airport, and still uncertain whether I could make the flight at all. I wasn't even in a hurry when I got the speeding ticket. I was never behind schedule the whole morning until Cozy Cab dropped the ball, hardcore. These goldbrickers (cops, cab co's) are dropping the balls left and right and yet they're sponging off of people like me who are serious workers who they can tell are slightly disadvantaged, desparate, and vulnerable to their wicked trades.

Well that is that excruciating story. Damnit to hell. I would not mention it but now I feel it gives a good wrapper to my subsequent Seattle story which has similar insanity surrounding my travels to the airport. The overall sum is something wild that I wouldn't advocate to anyone if they plan to live a long life. I guess I would like to live a long life, but I don't really care much for what is after it so I feel compelled to squeeze a megatonne of thick brown shit out of each little cream puff I'm given. That is a good summary there. Bring on the brown shit. Let those cops and squares in the Silver Cloud Inn suck on their cream puffs!

(btw- no hard feelings to the Silver Cloud Inn, it's a very nice hotel. and I've decided I will not pay the Plymouth ticket and that will give me yet another reason to stay out of Massachusetts. they're all fucking assholes anyway)

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